quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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