Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
