what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
