Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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