I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
