she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
