Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
