I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
50% drunk capacity currently
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
