This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
