thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My apartment stinks of burning failure
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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