ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
