She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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