this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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