I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
