she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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