I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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