Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize