And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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