Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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