Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
