Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
