How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize