i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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