i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
