and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Pooping to opera.
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