Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
