Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
