I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
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