dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
