when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
