Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
