kristin has been a bad kristin
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
