Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
