Someone shit on the floor
I think I am morally bankrupt
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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