shes about as inviting as chlamydia
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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