I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
