..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
