Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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