Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
