We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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