He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
