i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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