OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
