I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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