sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
