No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Your penis caused this!
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