Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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