I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
