There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
