I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
