Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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