Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
