im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
