I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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